Drats!
by oh. sweetcheeks
Summary: Instead of Resting in Peace, Like he rightfully deserved, after his death Boromir wakes up in a strange land. It looks just like home...but there's a twist. It's overrun by young teenage girls who are in love with him! Full summary inside
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing...drats!

**Synopsis:** Instead of Resting in Peace, Like he rightfully deserved, after his death Boromir wakes up in a strange land. It looks just like home...but there's a twist. It's overrun by young teenage girls who are in love with him! Can he outrun them before it's too late and he (at 40 years old) is forced to marry someone at least 26 years his junior? Throw in a seriously confused Haldir and you've got one Hell of a Parody!

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**Chapter One: If you liked it then you shoulda put a ring on it!**

Boromir awoke with a start. He quickly surveyed his surroundings in confusion. He was currently laying in the middle of a field that seemed oddly familiar; yet he was quite sure he had never been here before

"Where am I?" He groaned, "I thought I was dead!"

"You **are** dead, Boromir, son of Denethor," A voice replied.

Boromir whipped his head around and saw a tall dark-haired woman leaning casually on what appeared to be some sort of bird bath.

"What is the meaning of this?" He exclaimed angrily, scrambling to his feet and reaching for his sword. Or rather, where his sword _should have_ been.

"Ah Ah now, lets not be hasty with the weaponry my dear, I might just have to confiscate them," the woman calmly chided.

There was a small pop and Boromir looked down to find that not only was he without weapons, he was without clothing altogether!

"Well..." the woman continued, "obviously not _all_ of your weapons then." Boromir stared at her in horror as she stared, smirking, at his...ahem..._'weapon'._

He turned a bright shade of crimson and attempted to cover himself with his hands, "W-What is going on?" He stammered, "What is this place? Who are you?"

"So many questions..." She sighed, "Well, Borry my dear, you are dead...yes. You were slain in the battle of Amon Hen. You have now passed into, well, lets call it...the fantasy world. It is similar to your homeland, Middle Earth, in appearance, yes. But there are many disturbing differences that you are most likely to discover. I am your...guide I suppose. My name is Annalieth."

Boromir's brow furrowed as he took in this information. "What am I supposed to do here?" He asked.

"Mm, wander I presume," She said nonchalantly, "Come here and look into my basin. It will give you your last glimpse of the world you left behind.

Boromir slowly made his way over to the woman. He surveyed her closely. She was wearing scandalously short dress. It reached her mid thigh and was cut quite low. She was also draped in a large red cloak that contrasted with her long dark hair and pale skin. He cautiously peered over the edge of the basin into the pool of water it contained. This reminded him much of the elf Galadriel's mirror.

"What do you see?" She asked in a velvety voice.

"Nothing..." He started. However, as soon as the words left his mouth images began to appear. It was Aragorn, Legolas and Gimli. They were sending his body down the river as a farewell. He then saw Frodo and Sam, heading off on their own. He heard snippets of Frodo's voice, "I wonder what happened to Boromir?" he said "I hope B's okay."

Boromir sniffed and muttered, "You had your turn, and now your going to learn what It _really_ feels like to miss B! If you liked it then you shoulda put a ring on it!!!!!"

**TO BE CONTINUED!**

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**A/N: **Boromir's right! If they liked it then they shoulda put a ring on it! Chapter 2 hopefully coming soon, Stay tuned.

Paigeey


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing.

**A/N: **Wow, I'm finally back. I was actually surprised that people didn't get the end of the previous chapter. _'If you liked it then you shoulda put a ring on it?'_ **Single Ladies **by** Beyonce**? Come ON people! Oh well…made sense in my head haha.

**Re-cap-** _Boromir sniffed and muttered, "You had your turn, and now you're going to learn what It really feels like to miss B! If you liked it then you shoulda put a ring on it!!!!!"_

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**Chapter Two: …Drats.**

Annalieth rolled her eyes and cleared her throat. Boromir looked up from the basin.

"Well, O nude one, I suppose you want your clothes back now," She said grinning. Boromir nodded enthusiastically as his clothes reappeared with a small pop.

"How are you doing that? Are you some sort of sorceress?" He asked, narrowing his eyes at her.

"Enough questions for now," She said hurriedly, "I need to tell you the rules."

"The rules of what?" He repeated with a puzzled look.

"The rules of this realm," She explained, "Guidelines, if you will. There is danger here Boromir. Not the danger you are used to, but danger nonetheless. The evils of this world are not so conspicuous. They disguise themselves to seem harmless, but I assure you, they are anything but. If you ever find yourself in a dire or dangerous situation, you must simply call my name, and I will come to your aid."

Boromir scoffed and interrupted, "Help? From a _woman_? I should think not! I am more than capable of taking care of myself, no matter what this realm of yours contains!"

If looks could kill and he wasn't already dead, the glare Annalieth was shooting him would surely have been the end of old Borry. She opened her mouth, more than ready to give him a proper lashing when she paused.

"Whatever you say my dear, whatever you say," She said calmly, "Continuing on, you must never, _ever_ enter any of the houses that you come across. No matter how tempting, no matter who invites you in. You mustn't trust _anyone_. The more innocent they seem, the more likely it is that they're trouble."

"How am I to know I can trust you then?" Boromir challenged.

Annalieth simply shrugged, "You can't. You're just going to have to take my word for it Borry." She started to walk away.

"Wait! Where are you going?" Boromir called.

"Home," She called over her shoulder, "You obviously don't want my help. But if you decide that you're going to listen to me, just call my name and I'll find you."

And with that, she disappeared into thin air.

"Hey! Come back!" Boromir yelled. He was met by silence. Heaving a heavy sigh he muttered to himself, "So what in Valar's name am I supposed to do now?"

He stood there scuffing the ground with his boot when suddenly, it started to rain. Quickly covering his head with his arms, Boromir looked around for shelter but found nothing. Not even a tree or a rock. For ten minutes he stood there in the pouring rain, battling with himself. Finally he sighed in defeat and yelled out, "Annalieth! Annalieth!"

"Decided you need help?" She drawled from behind him. He whipped around to face her.

"Where can I go to shelter from the rain?" He asked gruffly.

She sighed, "I _guess_ you could come with me. Heavens only knows what would happen to you if you stayed out here."

"Fine then," He said, "How do we get there?"

"Just hold my hand and we'll be there in a jiffy," She said.

He hesitated before reluctantly reaching for her hand. Annalieth rolled her eyes and grabbed his hand sharply.

"How is this going to w-" Boromir started before feeling a sharp tug that made his head spin. Before he knew it, they were standing in a small, but warm room.

"Is this your home?" Boromir asked, looking around.

"No shit Sherlock," Annalieth muttered. Boromir turned to glare at her, but found his eyes travelling…further south than expected. Annalieth's eyes narrowed as she caught him staring and yanked her hand from his grip, slapping him squarely across the face.

"Don't make me pluck your eyes out Boromir," she hissed. "I will not tolerate being gawked at in an innapropriate manner."

Borry, who has obviously still not learned his lesson, grasped his cheek and mumbled, "Well if you were not dressed so provocatively then…"

"HOW DARE YOU!" She yelled, whirling around to face him. "That is IT! You're going back in the rain."

Before he could protest he felt a now familiar sharp tugging and found himself once again in the rainy field.

He sighed and hung his head. "…Drats."

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**A/N: **Ahhh, feels good to be back! Poor old Borry, nothing ever goes his way does it?

Reviews are love, and I love love!


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